phase 2, day 2

Well today is going alright so far. :)
low cal brownie (90) egg whites (36)
tea (0) when I get to work.

snack- wasa (35) 1/2 cup raspberries (32)

lunch- 3 oz chicken(85), spinach(5), wasa
(35)

snack- strawberries (30)

dinner- 3 oz cod (80) broccoli (35)

and toss a nonfat latte in there for good measure (90) lol

Phase 2, Day 1..EPIC FAIL

Okay, so I failed today. Naturally. :/ Okay, I shouldn't be so negative, sorry. But really. Can't I fucking do anything right??? >_<

Breakfast- 2 egg whites, 9 raspberries, black tea.

Got to work.. wasn't feeling completely awake, but it wasn't too bad. But around 8:30 I was starving. I kept watching people buy fatty foods and mochas and lattes and all this shit.... I just couldn't stand it. The hunger would come in waves and I'd feel faint. So i nom nom'd a blueberry bagel (210) with a (70 calorie) cream cheese packet. *sigh*

I was definitely in a "fuck it" sort of mood, so I got an americano with soy (60) 1 pump sf hazelnut (5) and halfnhalf (90), drank half of all that.

lunch, wanted to binge, but I ended up eating my chicken (85) and rest of my raspberries (30) and two ranch-buffalo chips (20).
snacks- 2 light wasa crackers (70), 1/2 fuji apple (50), light sobe (15), sample of lemon lb cake (35)

Got home.. ate a whole box of annie's mac n cheese; 700 calories. Fuck.

So todays total! *drumroll*  1,467. Super-de-douper. Go me. WIN. -_-

Let's try this again tomorrow.

HCG, mini tabs

So I have decided that I am going to attempt the HCG diet. I am taking NiGen's HCG Solution mini-tablets. I was very skeptical of course because many people have said that "your stomach cannot absorb HCG, so a pill form doesn't work." So I will see what happens. I believe though, that subsisting on 500 calories a day though will force me to lose weight no matter what though, so whatever. Something has to give.
  I can't live like this anymore. But doing it the healthy way takes too long. I just want to not see the 200 number anymore on the scale. Once I start seeing 170ish I will feel like I am making some progress, then, I will begin doing it the healthy way again. I just need something to get my faith back in myself. :/
   
So. Here goes phase 2!

Plan for tomorrow morning:
1 cup of tea (0), 2 egg whites(32), and 1/2 cup raspberries(32)

Snack: 1 wasa light rye cracker (35), egg white (16)

Lunch: 3.5 ounces of chicken (87), 1 cup asparagus (27), tea (0)

Snack: 1 wasa light rye cracker (35), 1/2 apple (54)

Dinner: 3.5 ounces swai fish (95), 1/2 apple (55), 1 cup spinach (5), decaf tea (0)

Oy. Even to me it looks like I'm signing my death certificate -_- But apparently with the pills, I won't be hungry and I'll be losing like crazy. I'll post my beginning weight tomorrow along with my measurements. I'll be taking my measurements every 2 weeks  (so every other sunday), and weighing myself daily.

Fatter, but determined

So i am officially OBESE according to medical standards. so much for my amazing diet right? Instead i turned to bingeing for the past two years and Im now 200 pounds. Oh yeah.
You read that right.
200 pounds.   Mmm.
  Sexy.

Well, actually I'm 197 today. So that's a bonus.

Intake

2 1/2 cups ww pasta
1cup shredded mexican cheese
2TBPS butter
1/2 cup tuna.  (i ate about 3/4 of this whole "meal"
6 oz hot chocolate w/ 2% milk.

3/4 of a gargutuan sandwich from jimmy johns *minus the ham*
2 swiss rolls

then went on a 30 minute walk/jog thingy. yay!

Think i'll have some celery soon. That's it. Idfk about calories today. I'm watching for the love of nancy and looking at wannarexia sites lol. I know they're pathetic. I don't have to explain my reasons for watching these movies or looking for tips, 'cause fuck you that's why. It's my life, it's my body. I'll do what I damn well please. If I decide to get skinny as fuck again, I will. If I wanna be a 300 pound whale, that's what I will do. Because it is MY choice. No one else's. No one can do the work for me to lose weight. And no one can digest the food to gain the weight for me either. So keep your god damn opinions to yourself. Got it? :)

Thanks, have a great night.

NOW Some thinspo.